i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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