I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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