mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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