return my video game
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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