so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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