I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
that may or may not have been my penis.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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