Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize