I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
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