i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
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So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
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I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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