I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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