There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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