So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize