my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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