he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
This house was built for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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