I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize