I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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