capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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