I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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