I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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