We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize