i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
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Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
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I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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