I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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