Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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