and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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