You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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