I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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