i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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