he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize