I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize