i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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