And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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