I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize