So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
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I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
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It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize