I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize