you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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