you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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