I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize