I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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