I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize