ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just invented taco cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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