Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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