escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
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No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
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I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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