he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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