i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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