Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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