I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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