In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize