i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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