What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize