yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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